With Christmas quickly approaching I have been doing some thinking. About this time of year, what it means-what I have been blessed with and what others don't have. I remember Haiti and the poverty I saw, the children I saw with no shoes and malnutrition walking miles to get to the clean water. These kids who have never had a gift in their life. The illnesses in their families and the faith in God who will provide for them. Then I think of what I have again. I have everything anyone could possibly ever need. Clothes, 3 meals a day, a bed, a home-a room that is bigger than the houses the Haitians lived in. I spend more money at McDonald's than they make in a day. I am more than blessed. I don't know why God chose me to live in a free country where I can have access to anything anyone could ever need. I am thankful for it and yet I feel selfish living a life that most people in the world can't even imagine. I miss Haiti, the people, those 52 precious children in the orphanage and the spirit of God working in the lives of some of the locals.

Then I begin thinking of the losses that have happened this year. With my step-dad being in and out of the house, kinda living here, kinda not. Still not real sure what's been going on with that.

My real dad having his accident in April not understanding how or why he is even alive after something like that. I hope that accident is still as alive to my dad today as it was the day it happened-just so it would draw my dad to Christ.

Then of course I think of Landon. I cannot express to you the pain it is to see a family hurt as much as I have watched this year. On the 9th it will be 8 months since we lost him. I had lunch with his mama on Thursday and with the holidays coming up it has already hit them extremely hard. His big sister is so broken and with being 10years old, she has no idea how to release any of the pain she is feeling. His mama has been struggling with things that I'm not surprised have come up. Then oddly enough I dreamed about him on Friday. After all of this time and as often as I think of him I finally dreamed about him. He was still gone but I was able to talk to him and hug him. I can't imagine a more beautiful thing. Please pray this family. I can't imagine losing my son and experiencing the loss they have this year.

And my mom finally giving her all to Christ-2 days after Landon. To be honest, yes I was filled with joy. But I couldn't be excited because of the weekend we just had. But the day that Christ rose from the grave on Easter was the day my mom rose from the grave with her sins left behind.

But even through all of this, Christ is still King. He is who He says He is and will does what He says He'll do. And that is never leave us. Blessed are those who hunger.. Blessed are those who mourn.. Nothing in all of creation can ever separate us from the love of God who is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Forever and ever. Amen